Chances are if you’re dating at an older age, you were in a long-term relationship that ended for one reason or another or you just haven’t found anyone who seems to be the right fit yet. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with either of these situations, it can definitely make dating more nerve wracking or discouraging. Dating as an older, more mature individual can be fulfilling in different ways though if you give it a real chance. Here are some tips to help you dive back in, have fun, and find success!
1) Know what you’re looking for.
Before you head out to singles’ night or sign up for an online dating site, take a little time to reflect on your past dating experiences and determine what is most important to you in a potential partner. Now, you don’t want to get too specific and end up with a laundry list of qualifications or expectations. But honing in on a few core qualities and dealbreakers will help you narrow down the dating pool. You should also use this time to think about whether you’re looking for something casual, something with serious relationship potential, or are open to anything.
2) Keep things light on the first date.
At this point in your life, you have a lot of experience with dating and just the world in general. It can be easy to overshare without even realizing it and make things too heavy too fast. On a first date, keep the conversation light and the focus on just getting to know one another. You should have fun exploring and developing your connection a little bit before diving too deep into topics like kids or exes. Avoiding heavy topics and emotions at the start will also help make you less nervous, if first dates make you anxious.
3) Don’t judge someone too quickly.
When you’re older and have been around the dating block, you might be quick to think you can read someone or compare them to a previous experience. Passing judgement too quickly can cause you to miss out on something with the potential to be really special. Give yourself a real chance to get to know a person before you write them off—two dates is a good rule of thumb. Do your best to go in with an open mind and no assumptions.
4) Practice safe sex.
Sex can be a fun and exciting part of dating, especially when you and your partner are more experienced and familiar with what you like. It’s important to be safe about sex though, both emotionally and physically. Today’s dating culture can make you feel like you have to rush into having sex, but you should wait until you’re both ready to take that step. Don’t be afraid to have an open conversation about it with your partner to ensure you’re on the same page. When you do decide you’re ready, don’t forget to use protection! Even if you’re well past the point of being able to get pregnant, STDs and STIs don’t discriminate against age.
5) Try not to be too hard on yourself.
If it has been a while since you’ve experienced rejection, it can be a lot more painful than you remember. You can ease the sting by keeping in mind that not every date is going to click—and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you when they don’t. Try to be confident in yourself and patient with the process. If you keep putting yourself out there, eventually you will connect with someone who makes you feel grateful it didn’t work out with anyone else.
Dating when you’re older is much easier when your pool of potential matches consists of people at a similar stage in their lives and with like-minded goals. If you’re searching for a new connection in the Metro Vancouver area, a membership with My Safe Dating will give you access to individuals who meet that criteria! Our online dating website is specifically made for singles aged 40+ who are looking for a fun and secure way to connect with each other.
Cast your fears aside and start building your profile today!