Getting back into the dating game after a long relationship, ended marriage, or just when you’re older in general can be intimidating. If you’ve been out of it for a while, you probably don’t know what modern dating is like after all this time away. You might be unsure of how to act, what to wear, what’s okay to talk about, or even where to start meeting people.
Like most things in life, re-entering the world of dating and relationships is far less scary if you have an idea of what to expect. So, let’s look at how dating when you’re older differs from your days as an awkward teenager or college student.
You know what you want.
The older you get, the better you come to know yourself and what it takes to make you happy. At this point, your experience with past relationships and other facets of life have taught you what works for you and what doesn’t. You already know what a good relationship looks like and, for most of us, a bad one too. As an older fish in the pond, you’ll be able to more quickly and easily identify which people and situations do not meet that criteria—resulting in a lot less time wasted.
You know what you deserve.
A lot of people find that the more life experience and self-awareness they have, the more confident they feel. You’ve learned to recognize your own value and make fewer excuses for people who treat you poorly. When it comes to dating, that means you’re less likely to settle for less than what you’re worth. You now have the confidence to walk away from something you know won’t make you happy.
Depth is more important.
As you get older, your priorities change. For most older individuals who are getting back into dating, a real emotional connection often becomes the priority when looking for a partner. At this stage in your life, you have less time to waste on someone with whom you only share a physical or otherwise superficial connection.
Your conversations with potential partners become deeper, getting into serious topics such as marriage, children, and other long-term goals sooner. Experience has taught you that who someone is at heart far outweighs where they like to hangout, what type of books they like to read, or what they look like.
Commitment is less scary.
Fear of commitment often plagues younger generations who have yet to figure out who they are or what they want out of life. Older individuals, on the other hand, have already discovered a lot of that and are now ready to settle down with someone and build a life together. Relationships, as a result, typically become more serious more quickly as you age. There are more people in your circle looking for the same thing: a lifetime companion.
Also, because you know yourself better, you can more accurately judge if someone would be a good long-term fit. This perspective can make the fear of being wrong and getting hurt (which is often behind a fear of commitment) less prevalent.
You have more responsibilities to navigate.
When you were in high school or fresh out of college, you probably had very few things tying you down. The older you get, the more commitments you have other than your relationship. Juggling all of these responsibilities and obligations can make it a little trickier to find the time to meet people and cultivate a new relationship.
An established career, kids (and your corresponding ex-spouse or partner), a house, and other distractions will all need to be factored in as you re-enter the dating field. That’s not to say it can’t be done, it just means your approach and perspective will have to be different than it was when you were younger.
If you’re about to jump back into the dating pool as an older individual, why not narrow it down right away to people who are your age and share your same priorities?
My Safe Dating provides a secure platform for singles 40 years and older to make new connections with like-minded people in the Vancouver area. With several membership levels, detailed profiles to help you quickly sort through potential matches, and advanced chat tools to allow you to build a safe, strong connection online, your next love is closer than you think.
Head over to our website to choose your membership and create your profile today, so you can begin your next adventure of the heart!